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Deafverse
Writing To Reach You
Lucky Penny 
23rd-Nov-2009 12:29 am
me
Oh say..
Like the wind,
in a whis-per..
the description.. of the stars
constellations outline to me in paraphrase
your zo-di-ac..
and tell me the meaning of those freckles on your arm..
looking up, to see all those meteors..
another falling in love metaphor..
so bright and lovely like our future, foretold..
(on solid ground like our earth)
and the idea doesn't get old..
no, no it don't
planning out my winter on the beach with her
But she'd rather think about that later..
right now she must concentrate on work..
And I said hey pretty baby
wontcha be my girl
I say oh, to me, that would mean the world
as much as I may sound cliche
the feeling behind it for me doesn't change
And I say oh, let's catch this movie that I wanted to see
do this for me and for you it's free.. you'll like it
I promise
laughter guaranteed
no tears today or those other bad night dreams
And if it comes down to it we can flip a coin
putting our fate in lucks kind choice
nothing will be easier than letting go for a change..
as it shakes
rattles
and rolls down the drain..
Comments 
24th-Nov-2009 12:09 am (UTC)
i like the first half of the poem a lot. nice.
2nd-Jan-2010 06:38 pm (UTC)
Mmm, very nice. I especially like how the rhyme is subtle, and you break up the rhyme scheme enough that it isn't sing-songy yet retains some continuity.
2nd-Jan-2010 06:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you ^-^
Subtle substance is my goal in most of my poems =3
So glad you like it :D
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